I have a beautiful friend. Thats really not understating things, literally beautiful, inside and outside. She passed away. Im so sad. I feel incapable about writing about her, so I'm putting up some photos of her and the speech i wrote for her beautiful funeral.
Hello everyone, im Mandy, and im Nerolis friend. When I was on the phone with Joseph about
talking today he asked me if I would be okay to speak, I was like ‘man, have
you met me?’. But now, it’s a little bit
different.
I wrote so many talks, talks about Neroli and how amazing she is,
nothing seemed quite right, because I don’t want to talk about her. I want to talk TO her. We have so many things to say to each other,
just like im sure all of you do. So I
wrote things down – things I wanted – and needed you to hear Neroli, things
that I have always thought but just didn’t say mainly because I always figured
there might be another time, another day, or a better moment. And now that I find that all of our moments
are gone, im so remorseful that I wont be able to give you these words in
person. So – here you are – in the most
public way possible – the things I wanted to say to you but ran out of
time.
So - My darling friend.
Everyone who comes into contact with you knows that you are a force
of nature, people just get swept up in your energy and enthusiasm. You have a gravitational pull, just being
around you will make anyone feel better.
There is an intensity about you that is completely unique.
You have an uncanny ability to be insightful, to articulate advice
or motivation in exactly the way that people need to hear it, whether that’s in
a quiet private space, or as you scream at someone to move their butt. You really look at people, and see them, not
in a fake way, but in a ‘hey, I see you’ kind of way. Its unusual, you have always gone out of your
way to make people feel special, seen, heard.
The way that you take interest in others, empathise with them and
actively look for ways to make people feel better is a gift my friend. The number of times ive heard you say “wait….
Ive got something for you…..”.
You are so smart. I completely
love this about you. Most people don’t
know how hard you have studied last year, and how fantastic your grades
are. You have an insatiable thirst for
knowledge – its phenomenal. This is a
woman who is getting up early in the morning while most of us are still
sleeping – she laughs and says ‘im amazed at how much I can get done before
anyone elses day has even started’. Studying and running – by the way 5km in
18mins is now my life goal – cleaning and preparing for your family all before
7am. You do this without complaint,
even when your tired.
Did you know that you are beautiful?
Truly. And its just so obvious to anyone who looks at you, but it is
honestly, just a direct result of the person that you are inside. But your a such a terrible compliment taker
–deflecting compliments onto other people – saying “Me? Ppssshh… but THIS one
here….” although in saying that, your doing better at saying ‘thanks, ive been
working hard on that’. I know that’s
been a hard thing, but your doing great at that.
You are a phenomenal athlete, you are the benchmark against which many
of us aspire to. Mentally tough,
physically strong, and so competitive!
You embraced Crossfit and Crossfit loved you right back. Always pushing though, then dragging the rest
of us along behind you. Its your
tenacity that sets you apart.
You’re a great conduit. You
have this ability to see needs, and find ways to fill them, roping people in
along the way to help. And you just do
this so under the radar, like its no big deal.
Just an everyday person doing everyday things, never really
acknowledging just how special and amazing you really are. I think its your innate ability to relate to
anyone and everyone that helps people on one hand to feel good about donating
time, effort or things and on the other hand, for those people who receive, to
feel valued.
There are so many facets to a real woman, so many hats that we wear,
so many roles that we have, you have always – always - interchanged seamlessly,
multitasked beautifully, as a wife, as a mother, a sister and cousin, as a
friend. It has been one of the most
rewarding experiences of my life watching you over the last 18 months, blossom,
and embrace your strength. Own your
opinions, think deeply, work hard and love fiercely.
You are a game changer, the brightest star in the sky. I am profoundly different because I have
known you. I want you to know that I saw
you. I learnt so much from you, you have
influenced my life for the better, and im grateful – for all of you wise words,
your mad laughter, your belief in me and in the inherent goodness of
people.
I miss you today, and im going to miss you tomorrow, in fact,
probably everyday for the rest of my life.
I will miss my friend.
And not just me, but all of us as her family and friends and I
thought to myself- if you have found her in some way to be inspiring - then be
inspired.
Its that simple. When I think
of so many people whos lives have been touched by her and made better. The very far reaching effect that she – one
person - has had on so many, this surely must be a legacy that we can all be a
part of. Some sense made out of this
tragedy.
She was all about learning life lessons, how can I be better? Therefore - how can we collectively be better
because we knew her, because we have been inspired by her, to touch others
lives for the better, to give generously when we are able, and to be, above all
other things, to be kind.
I think that it is with a willingness to try, a big old cheesey grin,
a quiet determination to serve.
In life you taught us all to:
Love stronger, hug tighter, smile, laugh, I can hear you yelling “come
on - one more rep”, to push yourself further, to go harder, to think first, and
to feel deeply.
And even now – your still schooling me – and believe me when I tell
you – im taking notes.
Ive learnt over the last week three very important things that we all need
to say
1. Say I love you….often and mean it.
2. Say im so sorry……
3. And finally but most importantly - Please help me.
The last thing you said to me was “I love you”, Im really glad I got
to say that back to you that one last time.
